Jun 06 2039: AC Owner caught burning apiary down - by alienfetus on January 27th, 2019
Mad man, philanthropist turned arsonist and bee terrorist Metal Bat has started a war with the CC Night Bees. Accusing Night Bees manager Judas (a nickname he earned by stealing Kelly "Vinegar" Clymer's job by planting a story in the Commerce City Daily that Vinegar is apathetic to the plight of the American honey bee and also has a prescription pill problem) of trying to bribe AC into throwing the series. FALSE.
Then he went on to criticize the team logo, which was done by a wonderful group of micro-dosing senior citizens and NOT an 8 year old on acid or in some kinda X-Files episode.
Owner, and generally good intergalactic boy Alien Fetus had this to say," I don't like Atlantic City, bad town. And what came first anyways- the broad or the bee? The bee, you idiots!"
Oct 27 2038: BABY BEES FOR TOGA KIDS, new charity. - by alienfetus on December 18th, 2018
Saratoga Highlanders are in the championship game, UHGAIN.
The GM is a stinky boy with a witch and wizard like eye for young talent and reclamation projects alike.
28 year old "Meet" Wally Jenkins was valeting cars at a second rate Italian restaurant in Minneapolis before being scooped up by the highlanders. Oh and now he is only a MVP candidate with a .307/.366/.550 /.916 line.
Roland Young (and delicious) keeps slugging and throwing idiots out all day long. Only knock is he keeps dropping LSD on off days and falling down the stairs or stalking opposing players' wives. He has missed his regular 22 games due to suspension and mysterious ailments.
Rookie Rodger "Dodger" Alhberg is a almost fully realized 1st round pick who hit the crap out of the ball all year in his rookie year. Think young David Wright with a bigger D.
Toga takes it in 7.
love and honey,
Alien Fetus, GM, Commerce City Night Bees.
Sep 30 2036: Why? - by alienfetus on July 10th, 2018
Why are the bees celebrating already?
Why are the bees more beautiful than a hive underneath a basketball hoop?
Why is Judas just a Judas and not a JUDAS AND A JESUS?
Why is the magic number 12 when this thing is already OVER?
Why dude why?
XOXO,
GM Alien Fetus
Apr 29 2036: Are The BEES bad for baseball? - by alienfetus on May 31st, 2018
Owner Alien Fetus woke up in a fish tank, walked to the bathhroom, looked in the mirror and said "i spend all this money, gobs in fact - more gobs than anyone, and we're always in first. BUT ARE MY BEES BAD FOR BASEBALL?"
He took a breath from his land respirator and said "no, We ARE baseball."
Sep 29 2035: DISRESPECTED - by alienfetus on April 24th, 2018
Milly referred to my beautiful hive as "the division leader," and hinted at a collapse. OUR NAME IS NIGHT BEES, AND THE HIVE IS ALIVE.